Rob Long is a Contributing Editor of IntellectualCapital.com.

Some musings for today, folks¿

Will the world ever find another Mother Teresa? We can only hope. My bet is on Hillary Rodham Clinton. The people who call Dallas "America's Team" need to learn a lesson on geography. When you're hungry, a ham sandwich sure hits the spot.

Has Sharon Gless ever turned in a bad performance? Not to my knowledge, my friends. Not to my knowledge. Martin Luther King Jr. was one of the greatest Americans who ever lived, period, end of sentence. He changed a nation. He is sorely missed.

How come operas are so loud? That's the turnoff for me, let me tell you. For others, though, I think the volume is a plus. And what are they about? Hard to tell sometimes.

The new Mrs. Larry King and I are terrifically happy, thank you. I think people are cynical about marriage these days for no reason. I've been married nine times and I love it! Wouldn't trade it for all the tea in China, let me tell you friends.

It was tremendously moving to watch the funeral of the Princess of Wales. It was as if the entire British nation had a collective lump in its throat. I'll never forget it. What makes pizza so delicious? Is it the cheese? Is it the crust? Is it the pepperoni?

You can get the finest chefs together with the finest ingredients, but they're never gonna come up with anything tastier than the Twinkie. Sorry, friends, but it's true.

I dream of the day the bigots disappear. But until they do, we must be ever-vigilant. Anything less than 100% equality for all peoples is a 100% failure. We must try harder and reach higher. For our sake and for our children's sake¿.Don't shoot the messenger: if you find blood in your stool, check it out with a licensed doctor, my friends.

Hard to beat the smell of freshly mown grass.

Why do the same conservatives who argue against gun control also argue against banning cigarettes? Doesn't make any sense, folks. I say: at least be consistent¿.Newt Gingrich looks better now that he's 20 pounds lighter. Now will he at least lose 20 pounds of ideology?

You want talented? Two words: Fred Travelena.

Sad news: the new Mrs. Larry King and I are, unfortunately, getting divorced. We tried to make it work, friends, but sometimes you come to the middle of a column and just think, "Nope. Not going to work. Aloha on a steel guitar."

This year it's the Dolphins. You can take that to the bank. And Peyton Manning is going to be the biggest football star since Broadway Joe Namath, you mark my words. He's got what Tiger Woods has got: talent and charm by the ton¿.Who can look into the eyes of the children of war-torn Bosnia and tell me that genocide is good?

Yes, the paparazzi sometimes go too far. Yes, we intrude on celebrities' privacy. But would we rather live in a world where you don't find out personal things about people in the public eye? I don't think so, friends. I don't think so. I know it's good for me, but why does organic food have to look so brown?

How come no one in the cast of "Friends" has made a decent movie?

Say what you like about the man, but Fidel Castro has one heck of a beard.

Is it just me, or is Bill Clinton getting thinner and Al Gore getting fatter? What's up with that, folks?

Next week I'll be in the Windy City! And after that, in Houston, Texas for my wedding!